So that day was our long case exam day. I just dont know. I felt confident, but at the same time, knowledgeless. I didn't want to freak out but I was also afraid if I was being over confident. Because back then, whenever I felt over confident, I would be sad later with the outcomes. I think I know. When we feel over confident, we lose "pergantungan" or tawakal to Allah. That is so dangerous guys. Like the Hunain War. The armies were in numerous amount, they were confident that they will win due to their enormous amount of forces, however they lost the war. Such a meaningful lesson to everyone.
*so many spelling and grammatical errors here because I was in a rush. Will fix them later*
*so many spelling and grammatical errors here because I was in a rush. Will fix them later*
So, I just doned a bright floral cloth with turquiose scarf so that I could generate some confidence and positive vibe.
wore bright cloth to generate confidence. Had to rely on clothing because my confidence just disappeared.
Weakly, I walked to the hospital with a tawakal heart. As I reached there, again I felt knowledgeless. For the first time in my life, I did not finish studying and revising for my exam. I just put my palm on the Gynaecology textbook, praying hard that I would not get Gynae patient for my long case. I did not revise anthropometry for Pediatrics, because I really had no mood to do so. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE? Anthropometry is freaking important in Peds and I just ignored it , and did I just "serap" the whole Gynaecology textbook using my palm? Oh dear. #tawakalsetinggieverest
This book. I just put my palm on it, hoping it could act like Bluetooth.
(Now in safe hands of Aincu.)
As I reached there, I san mix faces. But I was very sure that all of them also had butterflies in their tummies, like I did.
I chose to sit with some good friends and we did some last minute discussions while waiting for our turns. After almost an hour, we were called to line up to draw our vote. It is either medical or surgical.
Medical based : Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, Psychiatry.
Surgical based : Surgery, Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Orthopedics.
If you got medical for long case, that means automatically your short cases would be surgical based. At that moment, I just dont know. I dont know whether I should pray for medical or surgical long case. Suddenly, I was really not confident in both. Hence I prayed for the BEST.
And I got medical.
And I started panicking.
I think I will perform better in surgical. But this is the answer to my prayer. So I tried to calm down. Then I sat with Yana, who is known for her calmness. I asked her to teach me anthropometry. She taught me patiently, and I tried to remember as much as I could.
In grouping, I was in the cluster of Chin, Ashman, Pali and 2 others which I could not remember. (I think they were 6 of us). As the staff led our way to the patients' beds, I just couldn't stop praying. Please please Ya Allah. Ease me. Ease me.
We walked passing by the internal medicine cubicle. Okay. Gulp. Swallow saliva. And we reached the next cubicle which was PEDIATRICS. Guys. Anthropometryyyy.
Like these. And some more other charts.
I prayed a little harder that "let me have a bigger kid" (because they can use BMI, not anthropometry anymore). The staffs pointed Pali, Chin and I to some kids' beds. But suddenly, Ashman pointed out that one of patients should be his. Okay. You.can.take.anyone.but.let.me.have.big.kids.please.I.am.so.desperate.now.
And hence, I was brought to the next cubicle. And...
Welcome to psychiatry. Oh.My.God.
The history taking would be crazily long.
The examination would be insanely lengthy.
Every medical students knew this.
I was the first student who got psychiatry case.
Okay. Stay calm, Ayush.
I usually studied psychiatry by revising this SMALL book and I got psychiatry for my long case. Masya-Allah.
Alhamdulillah. Both patient and informant were very cooperative, eventhought the history was so confusing. But I managed to understand and wrote a beautiful longgg history of hers. She had chronic schizophrenia with extra-pyramidal symptoms. Amazingly, that day was her birthday so I wished her happily. Dr Nittin also came and tried his best to see if I am okay because as I told you, clerking psychiatry cases is not easy. Language barrier alert.
It's time.
I went into a room. As I opened the door, there sat Madam Sucheta and Prof KJ.
Jaw.Drop.Need.To.Put.It.Back.To.Start.Presenting.My.Case.
I am close with Prof KJ and his wife.
Prof KJ is the former deputy dean of USM-KLE, before Prof Suhaimi.
Prof KJ also got psychiatry case for his medical degree exit examination. He told us many times.
And now, Prof KJ was sitting in front of me. OMG.
I just did my best. Except to the part of secondary auditory hallucination when it should be 'second person auditory hallucination' urgh blame my short form haha. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. Everything went well. All the questions are answerable.
I really enjoyed my presentation. Prof KJ acted as he did not know me. But meh it's okay. He was being professiona and I like that. I always showed interest in psychiatry classes and discussions, and I even taught Madam Sucheta some Malay words, so I think she remembers me. Well seriously guys. Learning is fun. Dont mengampu or kipas2 the lecturers. Keep respecting them and make good reputation with the lecturers and staffs. Somehow, it could be really helpful in tought times like exams.
I walked out of the examiners' room, feeling so so grateful. Subhanallah. Who knew that my first exam would be this smooth, after all of the anxiety and fears of mine. Thank you Allah.
survived long case.
13:28.
Subhanallah. :')
Subhanallah. :')
